Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Our Second Guamiversary

The calendar has somehow already rolled around again to the middle of July, meaning Nick and I have officially called Guam home for two years now! Each year on our Guamiversary, I have reread the very first post I wrote on Peyt's Island, First 24 Hours in "Paradise". Especially now as Nick and I are beginning to create our exit plan, it's fun to read those first impressions and to marvel at all of the things I didn't know then that are so much a part of me now. 

Our two years on Guam have far surpassed my expectations. Our initial hopes for choosing to go there was to spend more time together, to escape deployment (that was my goal, at least!), to take a few trips, and to do a lot of diving. On the diving front, Nick and I just got our Rescue Diver certification cards in the mail... (so I guess now we are certified to rescue each other). I was asked to write up a review of my Top 12 Best Dives on Guam for the Guam Guide, making great use of the many awesome photos Nick has taken over the past few years. I so love that the walls of our home are decorated in these breathtaking images of fascinating underwater creatures. Each colorful image has a back story of a time and place that only Nick and I know about when we see it. They are pieces of creation that the two of us discovered together in our own underwater fantasyland.

In terms of traveling... let me just say holy crap! I am so amazed at all of the incredible places in this part of the world we have been able to see, both separately and together. When we first moved to Guam, the only places I for sure had to go were Japan, Palau, and The Philippines. Tokyo ended up being my very first trip, and coincidentally where I am writing you from right now (yes, I got to go back!). Palau turned out to be my all-time favorite place of anywhere I have ever been any time ever (yes, it was that awesome). And the Philippines originally made the list because that's where I thought Nick would be going for work trips. Well, that changed as soon as he started his new job (he was assigned to India, the Maldives and Sri Lanka), and it turns out The Philippines is where I ended up going for trips with my job. Many of you know my experience in Manila and the road to get there proved to be a far more life changing experience than I ever imagined. In addition to my top 3 destinations list, I have also been able to explore countries I couldn't even have located on a map before, like Singapore and Saipan. I hiked the Great Wall of China and even touched down in North Korea (thankfully only for a few minutes!). 

In addition to traveling, Guam has afforded us the opportunity to have some incredible visits with friends and family that never would have been possible in the States. Both my dad and Nick's stepdad got SCUBA certified so they could dive with us here! My sister and I painted an entire mural together! Nick's brother got a passport and did his first overseas flight ever to come see us! We've had another handful of close friends come our way to see this place for themselves (thank you Annie, Jenny, April, Mary & Annika!). Each visit has been so special, so meaningful. It has brought so much joy to Nick and me to share the island with a familiar face and know we have stories to tell about this place together once we are Stateside again. 

While at our core we are very much the same people we were when we arrived here two years ago, it is remarkable how much we have grown in these 24 months. Together we have faced some of the highest highs (skydiving! babies in Manila!) and the lowest lows (pneumonia, unexpected tragedies and family funerals). Both categories have challenged our faith and forced us to redefine who we are and what lies ahead for us.

I could go on and on about the many ways our story has been richly blessed and shaped these past two years. But at the end of the day, at the end of that list, the most wonderful part of Guam for me has been the irreplaceable time that Nick and I have spent together, just being us. Whether it was taking the boat out on an adventure to discover new diveable seas, or hiking through the jungle to explore caves and climb mountains, or a lazy Sunday afternoon playing golf after church... Guam has been the perfect setting for us to spend our free time in wreckless escape. In May Nick and I hit the eleven-year mark of life spent together, although few of those eleven years were actually spent together. I am so grateful that during very much of these past two years (often for months at a time!) we were able to return at the end of the day to share space under the same roof at the same dinner table. It may have taken moving to the other side of the world to make it happen, but I would travel twice that far again if that's what it would take to recreate this sanctuary. 

Pop quiz... what does this sunset cloud look like??
When the winds of change breezed through last year, they diverted our eyes not back to where we came from, but on to a new arena to begin a new chapter. We know not what the future holds for us in Virginia Beach, but I'm not worrying about that now. There will be time for that later, just as there is a season for everything. But right now, this is the season to savor... our home... our island... our days spent together. I am certain that on the other side of our two years in Guam we will be blessed with even more moments of joy and triumph together. But I know there will always be a special place in my heart for this precious time of exploration and contentment and togetherness. All made possible by this little place I so precisely on our first day called paradise.

Paradise, indeed :)

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Memorial Day 2012

After spending the past week with my dear friend April on Guam and in China, I have so many thoughts and pictures and stories I want to share with you. But before I do that, I want to recognize this incredibly important holiday we find ourselves in the middle of... Memorial Day.

This weekend is important to me personally for a number of reasons. Exactly 11 years ago, I stood before a crowd of thousands in Houston, TX to deliver the Valedictorian address I prepared for my high school classmates. I had a brand new super hot boyfriend (named Nick!) I had been dating less than a week. We had no idea at that point what the future would hold, but we knew enough to trust the future would be good.

Exactly 7 years ago this weekend, that boyfriend (turned fiance!) walked across a stage and shook hands with President George H.W. Bush as a commissioned officer in the U.S. Navy. It was a glorious day for all of us who had witnessed four years of collective hard work from him and his classmates. And it meant Nick and I were officially in the Two Percent Club. Academy legend has it that only two percent of the couples who are together at Induction Day are still together at Commissioning Day four years later. You better believe that is one milestone I will be forever proud of.

Five years ago on Memorial Day weekend, the world as I knew it changed forever when my grandmother Bea lost her short but intense journey with pancreatic cancer. I got the difficult phone call from my mom in Florida. Even though I'd had a chance to say goodbye in person and knew her departure was imminent, I was devastated. No one in my personal inner circle had been taken so permanently before that day. I could not imagine walking an earth where she no longer did. I trudged forward so hurt, lost, and aching. My little heart just didn't know what to do. Nothing had changed in my day to day life across the country, and yet, it seemed everything was different. We went to her memorial service in Florida a week later and, as tears streamed down our faces, we sung our hearts out to Eternal Father Strong to Save, also known as the Navy Hymn, which she had personally requested be sung that day.

Despite all these powerful Memorial Day memories and the fact that this weekend comes every year, I consider this to be only my second true Memorial Day. I say that because this time last year was the first time I had ever personally witnessed the suffering of friends who, unlike me, never had a chance to say goodbye to their loved ones. I guess that's why Memorial Day feels so different now. There are names and faces of those who never returned, and of those who returned but were never the same. Those who were once so familiar are now but a memory. My heart aches for their families and the insurmountable adjustments they were forced to make having to walk this earth, one step and one breath at a time, learning how to live here without their hero.

And so this Memorial Day weekend, amid the sorrow I find a strange sense of joy in taking a long pause to honor and remember those for whom the echo of taps still resonates. Today we dedicated the flowers at our church to brothers Brendan Looney and Clay Hunt. In their honor and the honor of our nation's other valiant souls, I joined in as the soprano in a four-part a capella harmony of Eternal Father Strong to Save. I so appreciate my grandmother's dying wish of having that song played at her service. Somehow it helps me to weave together the intense emotions of grief too many families must be feeling with the notes that plea for God's protection for those still serving.

Having just returned from a country that is most certainly not free, where the opinions and ideas on this very blog are completely inaccessible, this year I find myself all the more grateful to live in the land of the free, the home of the brave. Unfortunately freedom has come at a tremendous cost, which is why the rituals of remembrance are so important for every American to participate in, in any way whether big or small.

Just last month our Philippines service team visited the American Cemetery in Manila, home to 35,000 burial sites of American and Allied troops from WWII. Many of the remains, marked with a cross, are of soldiers and sailors whose names are "known but to God." As I looked out over the rows of crosses planted in pristine fields of bright green grass, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the physical demonstration of sacrifice before my eyes. In a moment of hopelessness, I turned to my journal wondering how to make sense of all these lives lost, all these families in pain. What can I possibly do to make this better?

I thought of all those eyes looking down on me from upper realms. I thought, what might they want from me, from us?

"Live so my sacrifice is worth it," I heard them say.

I believe there are simple but intentional things all Americans can do to serve our country that don't involve joining the military. We can serve by seeking out quality American made products instead of cheap bargains made in China, every penny a vote toward American jobs and a stronger economy. We can serve by actively helping out our fellow military and veteran families, the 1% of Americans who have been personally affected by 11 years at war. We can serve by choosing to strive for our personal best at home, at our jobs, in our relationships, for our environment. We can stay healthy and remove burdens from our healthcare systems. We can stay out of trouble and remove burdens from our criminal justice sectors. We can support nonprofits and volunteer and pick up trash and recycle. There are so many ways to incorporate serving and bettering our country into our everyday lives.

Make no mistake. The onus is on you and on me to shun complacency and take action. I believe Travis Manion has stated this best: "If not me, then who?"

Oh hear us when we cry to Thee for those in peril on the sea.

The notes of the Navy Hymn ring in my soul today. Once again I feel those valiant eyes looking down upon us. It is our job, dear friends, to live in such a way that makes their sacrifice worth it. It is a tall order, but none so encompassing as what each of them has already given... everything.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

We are the Church

 "Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." 1 Cor. 12:27

Growing up, I remember as early as second grade singing a hymn that went very simply:

I am the church
You are the church
We are the church together
All who follow Jesus
All around the world
Yes, we're the church together!

The whole point of the song, as the verses continue, is that church is not merely a building. Rather, the church references the people involved. It doesn't matter where they come together, it's the different spiritual gifts that combine to create a community, an extended family led by God the father, saved by Christ the son, unified in faith by the Holy Spirit.

"Who's the king of the jungle?"
Despite being a church member for the past 20 years or so, the words of this hymn have never rung so true as during the past five months. Our beloved leader, Pastor Jeff, departed in December after being the pastor on Guam for 9 years, leaving our church here to be run by a shell of a staff (including moi) and a team of exceptionally dedicated volunteers (everyone else). In retaliation for him leaving, I am posting the goofiest picture of him I can find (thank you gorilla-motions song from jungle-themed Vacation Bible School).

Throughout this period of transition as we seek our new pastor, the pendulum of our abilities as a church people has swung back and forth in my mind. I have stood in awe of the Sunday morning services our church has put together. I have teared up listening to the sermons written by inspired lay pastors who somehow create time during their workweeks as lawyers, active duty military, university professors, and businessmen to listen to God's message in the scriptures and relate it so personally to the interworkings of our lives. I savor every doughy morsel of homemade communion bread, prepared lovingly and unceremoniously each week by a navy spouse. I belt out the harmonies to familiar hymns and worship songs that make my soul feel renewed, energized and at home. I memorize Bible verses alongside our youth during Confirmation and Sunday School. I marvel at all we are able to accomplish with our spiritual gifts as the body of Christ.

Oh, how I wish this were the end of the post! (insert long, dramatic sigh...)

Other times I get a glimpse of why God needed to take things into his own hands and come down into this painfully fallen world to show even his most devoted followers the Way (while we were still sinners...). Try as we might, we have so many flaws. Sometimes our Sunday services seem so disjointed, they can be painful to sit through. And as a former public speaking coach, it's all I can do not to boastfully extend free consulting services (!) to some of the volunteer speakers. Sometimes the music... it just doesn't come together. The hymns are boring or unmelodious and even the worship leaders hit their share of wrong notes (I can say this because I myself am completely guilty!). We leave long, awkward pauses in places that used to flow so smoothly. Some Sundays it seems like the only thing we do right is pass the peace.

As a people, we have all of the gifts to create flawless church services as we reliably did just a few months ago, but we are now painfully aware of how valuable it was to have a leader to organize us all. Metaphorically, it's like taking a peek of the disaster our lives would quickly become without the Holy Spirit's persistent guidance and direction. Our new pastor can't get here soon enough!

Nitpick as I might about the ins and outs of the weekly service (and under the circumstances I try really hard not to!), it has been during this same transition time that our team of 19 church members (out of a congregation of 190 - that's 10%!) went out into the world to care for those in need at an orphanage in Manila (and it took three church-supported fundraisers to get us there). Every Tuesday morning I meet with a group of a dozen or so women for intensive Bible studies on topics as far reaching as Roman history to the apocalypse to meditation. My faith (and my understanding of God) has grown tremendously from being part of this group of spiritual leaders. That's in addition to at least two other Bible studies going on churchwide throughout the week. And you may recall our church created a mural of the entire world from paint and supplies and time donated by our members (and a special visitor) in just five days.

Putting the books of the Bible in order
In two weeks on Pentecost, nine of our youth will stand before the congregation and become confirmed adult members, having memorized the Apostles Creed, the 10 Commandments, the books of the Bible (in order!), the Lord's Prayer, the 23rd Psalm, and a dozen other verses of scripture. Thanks to the program's leadership by a church member who stepped in, their ability to explain the tenets and sacraments of the Christian faith is almost mind-boggling. The current members of our youth group are transforming into the future leaders of the church... and the world... right before our very eyes. Despite our tendency to run around like lost sheep at times, the things our church... the people... have been able to accomplish without a pastor seems, at times, supernatural.

"In this world you will have trouble,
But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:3
I believe it's that brush with the supernatural that keeps us, the fallen church, coming back in faith. I think back to this time last year, suffering through pneumonia and facing the funerals of two grandparents days apart on the other side of the world.  I didn't know if it would be physically possible to get there in time. Pastor Jeff encouraged me to go be with my family. My Bible study prayed for my health, my decision, and the ensuing travel. Hours later, the Space-A flight schedules aligned almost, well, supernaturally and carried me from Guam straight into the arms of my sister on the West Coast. She accompanied me the rest of the journey to Florida, where I was reunited with my extended family, and later that week with Nick's extended family in New Jersey. Both memorial services were held in churches. Surrounded by people. Being present among so many people I love in the midst of our pain and celebration was so healing. And healing was exactly what we broken people needed as the permanent eternal change (as well as the temporary earthly change) began to take hold of our hearts.

I am so aware now more than ever about the role the church body plays in our lives, our community, and our world. I am grateful for the members of our church who continue to give and teach and pray even when, at times, it seems we are running on fumes. Somehow (supernaturally, perhaps) we keep on, not only running, but staying the course. And I have the utmost faith that this rickety era in our church's inability to conduct perfect services will one day be something its members look back and laugh about with our awesome new pastor. "Remember that Sunday when there were two sermons? Hahaha!" (Yes, this really happened.)

It's times like this that I must so faithfully remember... or rather, am so painfully reminded... that I am the church... you are the church....

And for better or for worse, we are the church together. May God help us all. That, after all, may just be the whole point.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

***********************************
For my family... Remembering Shoopa and MomMom this week... forever in our hearts.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

The Work of Hope

The days since returning from Manila have been a whirlwind, to say the least, but I didn't want the opportunity to pass without sharing more about the work we did while we were there. It was so cute to see how excited our group members were on our first day there as we pulled up to the orphanage. Those who had never been to CCS were excited to see what it was all about (babies!). Those who were returning were perhaps even more excited to find out which of our little buddies were still there. It's one of those win-wins where obviously you hope the kids were all placed with families already, but if they happen to still be at CCS for us to hang out with, well, that's okay too :)

Our first observations were A) how much all the children had grown since last summer and B) how independent our little baby friends were now that they had grown into toddlers! It seems like when we were here last summer, there were a lot of babies that just wanted to be held and cuddled. Nine months later, there was a whole lot of walking going on. Now that the babies were older, it was fun to really get to know their individual personalities more. We pulled out books, puzzles, bubbles, and toys and started the busy and rewarding work of playing.

That's a happy face if I've ever seen one :)

With different team members on the trip this year, we also had different skillsets to tap into. One of the dads on the team, Dennis, does construction in the Air Force. With his expertise, we were able to make some repairs to the facility. In fact, before we left Guam, we were told Dennis may be asked to help with a "lighting renovation project." Dennis confessed he didn't have as much experience as an electrician and was more of a builder... but he said he would do his best with whatever project was asked of him.

Dennis started tackling the "lighting renovation project" only to discover that all that was needed to create light in this upstairs room was to install a new light bulb. The electricity in the room worked just fine. The wall and floor, on the other hand, were rotted through due to a leaky roof. The perfect repair for a builder to make!


Replacing wall beams and ceiling paneling
Patching up the roof... a nice job to do while it's not rainy season...
Dennis also led the youth in painting a couple of the rooms. Always amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do to transform a space.... extreme makeover, orphanage edition :)

 And Kevin joined in to seal the leaky roof over the play area.

Another one of the dads on our team is a doctor... a fantastic profession to have on any mission trip! Jim did medical evaluations on all the residents of CCS. It was sad and crazy to hear the resident nurse tell the stories about each child's medical history... everything from being abandoned in a dumpster to suffocated by a plastic bag. But it was so wonderful to hear Dr. Jim's assessment of how healthy the children are and how effective their treatment programs have been. Yaaaay :)

Another healthy, happy kiddo finishes her check-up.  
Thanks Dr. Jim, where's my lollipop?

Each of our first three workdays, our team conducted a Vacation Bible School for the street/urban poor children who attend CCS in the afternoons. These children have families, although many of them live in depressed homes or squatters. Part of the criteria for being in the program is that children (ages 7-17) come from families that have five or more children (!) and are below the poverty line (living on less than $100US/month!). Some of the program's curriculum includes math and reading tutoring, character development, and personal hygiene education (one of the ways these children hide rather well that they are one step away from homeless... you wouldn't know by looking at them).

Like last year, the VBS kids looooved crafts! Thanks to Nick's mom for all the stickers she sent. They were a hit once again!

Also like last year, we had the kids make foam picture frames again using foam my sister sent out and some fun new foam stickers.

We weren't planning to do this craft again, but one of the staff members told us she still sees the pictures and frames hanging up in the kids' houses when she does home visits. We thought it might be nice for them to have an updated photo.

Since we were there the day after Easter, we did an Easter egg hunt featuring American candy... it was a big hit!

Also handy was the fact that two of the moms on the trip were teachers!

Paula and Nancy helped the kids make a pop-up book of a parrot covered in feathers

Nancy and her family acted out one of the best stories ever... The Giving Tree.

We treated the kids to yummy snacks... and got to try a few delicious bites ourselves :)

We taught the kids some new games... they didn't know how to play Four Square. 

I'm still not sure they know how to play, but they had fun playing whatever game they came up with on their own :)

We graffiti'd the sidewalk

And we reunited the kids with their favorite game... baskeetbol! There used to be a hoop and backboard on the nearby tree, but it got old and fell off. Someone had donated a new hoop and mounting bracket to CCS, but no one had the tools to install it until now. After acquiring some new tools for them, Jim drilled and bolted the mounting into solid concrete... and he narrowly avoided police confrontation when the owner of the hotel next door brought his security guard over to see why a drill was coming through their wall. Whew!
Well worth the effort... moments after Jim finished, the wall was already being put to good use.

Our third workday was a little different. Instead of our entire group going to CCS, 9 of our youth and one brave adult (thanks Sandra!) went to hang out with the high school and college youth from the area Lutheran churches who were at summer camp down the street at Gloria Dei Christian School. As it so happens, the week after Easter is the first week of summer break in the Philippines, so our youth had the unique and reportedly awesome experience of going to a full day of summer camp in a foreign country! There were tons of messy games, including a mud pit, and our youth had a blast hanging out with the Filipino kids (especially once it was time to play baskeetbol).
The Americans line up for their turn to represent their teams looking up Bible verses. 

Later that night the rest of our group joined the camp for a joint chapel/worship service, a dinner we hosted, and a talent show. During our talent show, two of our youth Travis and Coleman led an awesome song/game called "On a Day Like This." Everyone was on their feet, singing and laughing... and messing up, which was totally the point. "On a day like this, Ooooh, I need the Lord to help me."

 We did one last project with the goal in mind of creating a new experience for some of these kids. We'd heard that many of the kids had never gone shopping before. As in, never gone to a store, picked something out, tried it on and bought it. We thought it would be fun to make this happen. You should have heard the laughter and cheering when we pulled up in front of a department store with 23 of the street children and announced that they could each spend 500 pesos on clothes and shoes. I think it was humbling for all of us to see their excitement, especially considering that amount works out to about $12 US. 

The kids only had about 20 minutes to pick out what they wanted, so you can imagine it was very busy watching them buzz around trying stuff on. While some walked out with dresses and shiny black dress shoes, many chose to spend their pesos on underwear, socks, and a bag for school. We also learned that many of the kids had never been this far (30 minutes) from their home neighborhood. In fact, many of them had never been as far as the major street that lines their neighborhood just a few blocks from CCS!
 
Shopping!!
 Thankfully the customer service in the Philippines is the best in the world, so the kids had a lot of help!
It was really fun to create this experience for the street kids and also for the residents of CCS. While it's extremely efficient that kids are clothed primarily with donated items, it was nice for the kids to have something brand new for once, something to call their very own.
Our projects this year seemed extra rich, partly because of the added expertise we had on our team, but also because this year we had an extraordinary donation to work with. Our team received a grant from the Frees Foundation of Houston, Texas, which allowed us the resources to provide for any special needs that arose throughout the week. At the end of the week, it felt like we had a lot to show for ourselves. The room Dennis fixed up will now be used as the room where staff sleep, which frees up the downstairs room below to be used as an isolation room for when residents become sick. With two roofs sealed, the facility was now ready for rainy season.

While Jim's check-ups confirmed that the babies are healthy as ever, the state of the facility overall was a bit more run down than when we were there last summer. My hunch is that funding squeezes have hampered their ability to stay on top of all of the upkeep of the property, and even though they are renting, that doesn't mean their property managers are at their beck and call. Due to our grant funding, our team was able to provide a year contract for pest control services to resume, one more lasting impact of our visit.


In addition to the work on the property, we conducted three packed days of VBS crafts, stories and songs, two successful shopping trips, and the new basketball hoop installed overhead.

 We spent some time with the people we care about... the little ones who have taught us so much about faith, love, and hope.

And then there was my favorite part of the visit... gathering CCS staff and our team members announcing our donation... 90,000 pesos we collected from family and friends and church members (you guys!). When I wrote the message to you all requesting donations for our cause, I never expected our team would show up with over $2,100 to give! It meant so much bringing a piece of your hearts on the trip with us, knowing how many prayers were being said all over the world for this special place. So thank you, friends... thank you for being part of this joyful moment!

Turns out the timing of our visit couldn't have been better... I'm not surprised. The week we were there was Ate Beth's last week before retiring. In fact, her retirement party was two days after we left, which brought donors and supporters in from all over to celebrate her twenty years of work. It was nice knowing we had put those fresh coats of paint on the wall and fixed what needed to be fixed. It was great for everyone to hear about the donations and support our team brought, especially in light of the upcoming transition to a new director (hired that same week!) after two decades with Ate Beth.

As this new chapter in Beth's life begins, and this chapter of leading trips to Manila comes to a close for me, I have to reflect on how much I have learned from this woman of service, simplicity, excellence. Ate Beth has unquestionably made my personal faith hall of fame by always relying on God to provide and confident of His ability to work through others to accomplish things small to impossible. When I showed her the email from Mia Claire's family and pointed out it came just two days before we left on this trip, she immediately said, "That's not a coincidence, you know." She has spent a lifetime watching God work in mysterious ways with miraculous timing to bring unlikely people together right when they need each other. I am so grateful to have crossed paths with this incredible woman who has shown me that faith is at its most powerful when it's a verb.

As we gathered for our final group photo with the staff, team members, babies and kids, it was easy to smile knowing all we had done that week. The goodbyes that followed were a little more difficult, but I had to appreciate all we have learned from our time spent between these walls. This very place that could so easily represent all that is wrong with the world... parents abandoning their children... so much more represents this beautiful thing called hope

As I gave Mia Claire one last squeeze, I thought of her parents, not long behind me, who would come to whisk her away to her new fabulous life of schools and travel and rich experiences... hope. I thought of the beautiful thing called love, the force behind a family's desire to travel to the other side of the world to welcome an outsider under their wing. I thought of the hardworking hands of the staff members, love being the glue that connects every movement of the daily routine of feeding, changing, and bathing all of these wiggly little children. I thought of the orchestration going on this very moment in the heavenly realms that will one day unite these children with their forever families.

Indeed, we have learned so much during our time here. My hope is the visits between LCG and CCS will continue long after my feet are planted back on the mainland. There is so much brought to the table from both sides during this exchange, and I marvel that though we are worlds apart, it's only a three-hour flight that separates us. And yet, despite any distance, we remain connected at the very heart through our prayers... through our faith... through our love... and through our hope...

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5