Fasting from Facebook

The fact that Easter is almost here is exciting for a myriad of reasons. Today I'm going to harp on one of the reasons why it's exciting for me... Lent will be over and I can finally get back on Facebook!

Part of me can hardly believe I'm this excited about FB because the first three weeks offline were so liberating. People kept asking if it was hard not to be able to check it every day, and I would proudly reply, "Nope! It's awesome. One less thing to do!" Sadly, that is true. I feel like I've had so much more free time, particularly in my morning and my evening when I am most prone to plop in front of it. There's a bit of a morning routine out here... wake up, make your coffee (or tea!), and check your 8-hours worth of FB posts from friends in the States that all popped up while you were sleeping. I found my mornings in particular were so much more productive these last few weeks without that distraction.

I also (hate to say it) didn't really miss the people on it---at first. My birthday fell the first Sunday of Lent this year and people informed me that my wall had a bunch of birthday messages. "Aren't you missing being on FB on your birthday?" people asked. "Nope!" I proudly replied. And it was true, this year's birthday was notably awesome because I got so many truly special cards, letters, emails, and phone calls from you guys (thank you!). As I told one of my friends, it was like having a birthday in 2003! The people who knew it was my birthday found a way to get in touch. I can't say I missed the birthday wishes from that girl I had a class with at Florida 9 years ago and haven't seen since.

I also didn't miss the mundane scrolling of people's status updates. Or the daily minutia of many of the 700-something "friends" I have amassed from living in so many different places. Or the constant link postings by my uber liberal (and unnecessarily angry) grad school colleagues. Or the zillion baby pictures of people's kids who I have never and will never meet. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of hiding and unfriending when I get back on.

But what I absolutely miss is being able to quickly and easily make plans with the awesome people who live on my street and in my neighborhood. Luckily I have some very generous friends who have been texting me FB invites for the last 40+ days. But believe you me, I have felt exceptionally out of the loop around here. I missed being able to share with my piece of the island about things like our rummage sale or our crossfit group starting up. I know I missed many adorable baby pictures and updates from friends back in the States whose families cross my mind every day. I bet their little faces will have changed so much even in this short time. And I even miss knowing what's going on with, among many, those girls who were in my Bible study in Florida 9 years ago, many of whom I haven't seen since and whose kids I haven't met. I still love hearing from them after all these years. They were such a huge part of my life for those three years.

I realized quickly what all of this new insight comes down to. And this is the heart of what I have learned and how I plan to use FB from now on. It's all about relationships... building them, maintaining them, nurturing them. Going forward, this will be my personal test of if I am spending my time wisely online. What am I doing to build relationships with the people I care about most? Peyt's Island has been a great way to keep in touch, but it is decidedly one-sided. I want to know what's going on with you too.

And that brings me to the purpose of Lent in general. The week before Ash Wednesday, we had youth group where I shared that Lent comes from the Latin root that means "to lengthen." Lent is a somber time in the church calendar where we focus on our sinful nature and the myriad of ways we as man fall short. And so we make a sacrifice, not with the purpose of breaking a bad habit, but to remind us daily of how we miss the mark, with the intention of lengthening our spiritual maturity. Fasting from Facebook has been a great reminder of my own sinful tendency to build a golden image of myself and worship it. (Heh, maybe I should have fasted from blogging too).

I have to marvel that despite our countless shortcomings, at the end of the day, at the end of this season, turns out it's all about relationships. I often don't understand why God wants to go to the trouble of building, maintaining, and nurturing relationships with every single one of us (sounds exhausting!). Or why He would make such an enormous sacrifice to show us how much our relationship matters. But I know it has something... no, everything...to do with love.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

As we transition from Lent to Easter over these next few important days, may we be reminded, as one of our 6th graders said last night at youth group, that Jesus underwent all the triumphs and tragedies of Holy Week, "so we can be closer to God."

Contemplating this, my hope is that this Easter we can all love a little more freely, show a little more grace when others fall, and maybe, somehow, be a little more at peace despite all that's wrong with the world. Because at the end of the day... at the end of this earthly lifetime... turns out it's all about relationships. And it has everything to do with love.

Good Friday sunset at Asan Beach Overlook, April 2011